Nonsense
|
|
Bob and Jim
Down in a bog lived a frog named Bob With a thin finned friend named Jim They drank green slime with slices of lime And they danced a little jig around a twig One day, said Bob, when I’m very very old I’ll travel the seas that are dark and cold And discover purple turtles on a shore One day, said Jim, when I’m taller than a tree I’ll travel the skies with my many coloured eyes And see the feathered fidgets and more! Ah, said Bob, with a shuffle and a jog How will you be so much taller than a tree? You are so very small, I fear that you would fall No, said Jim, with a shiver in his fin I have a secret hat, which is faster than a bat And while you’re being boring, I’ll be soaring A hat? Said Bob, I’ve never seen a hat Faster than a bat, what colour is this hat Where’s it at? Hidden. Said Jim, with a secret wink You’ll never find it, never mind it’s Colour, (which is pink) Can I wear it? Said Bob, I bet I’d look a treat See me amble, what a gamble Such a frog you’d want to meet Alas, said Jim, I don’t think it would fit Your head is vast, you’d be aghast At how you looked a twit How dull, said Bob, that I am shaped like a frog Oh to be more curly, not so burly I feel sad and melancholy Not at all, said Jim, I hate my being slim I fall down holes, get chased by moles We both should be more jolly It’s true, said Bob, that I’m a frog and not a dog Hurrah, said Jim, let us make a sinful din Be merry that we’re not so ordinary Pass the lime, and pour me out some slime |
Marmalade Man
There was a man called Charlie Jar who lived over the hill He loved his wife, his loved his sons, but oh he hankered still He dreamt all day, he dreamt all night, his golden dreams were made Of lovely sticky, pretty, sometimes bitty marmalade CHORUS Breakfast’s his favourite meal, the tables neatly laid Dinner, tea-time, supper too was always marmalade His wife was a small patient lady, didn’t like a fuss But she was getting tired of all the constant gooey mess She found it on the radio, on eggs the hens had laid She found it almost everywhere, his bloomin’ marmalade CHORUS But he was unaware of all the problems that he caused His days were all an orange haze, his mealtimes his reward He liked it on his crumpets, and in his lemonade He even spread it on baked beans, his lovely marmalade CHORUS And then one day there came a man, from oh so far away He said dear sir, I’ll buy it all, how much now should I pay He gasped and gaped and shuddered, oh my days, he was dismayed I could not part, with this, my heart, of scrumptious marmalade CHORUS And so the family lives there still, in sticky harmony The cat is sick of constant cleaning of her furry knees They tried to feed him strawberry jam, but he would not be swayed So every day, in every way he has his marmalade! |